What’s the first thing that goes through your head when you meet a prospective client, sit down at the keyboard to write an article, or walk up to the podium to give a talk? What motivates you?
For many (too many) of us, it’s the desire to come across as smart, knowledgeable and polished. It’s natural to be internally focused. But being motivated by the desire to leave an individual or audience dazzled typically has the opposite effect.
I recently attended a conference and at one of the opening cocktail parties I completely forgot this lesson. I engaged in conversation with a nice gentleman and we chatted at each other instead of genuinely listening to what the other person was saying. Instead of probing for common interests, we focused on getting our points across. It ended up being a waste of time, full of awkward pauses and poorly delivered “elevator speeches.”
This poor interaction reminded me of what it takes to have a positive one: We benefit far more when we seek nothing in return. When we share our time, attention and wisdom freely, with no reciprocal expectations, we build relationships of the best kind – the ones built on a strong foundation of trust.
So the next time you approach an interaction, be it in person or via the written word, ask yourself a simple question: How much can I give my audience without expecting anything in return?