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Selling legal services is different from other sales in a crucial way that makes it understandably difficult for many lawyers: you are the product. You’re not selling a widget or a software license. You’re selling yourself—your insight, judgment, experience and time. So when you reach out to a contact and hear nothing, or hear a “no,” it can feel deeply personal. Even if it’s not.
If sales is your job, you’re trained to shrug this off. Salespeople live by mantras like: Some will. Some won’t. Who cares. Move on.
But you’re a lawyer. And most lawyers I work with find it hard to adopt that level of detachment.
Instead, I often see one of three reactions play out:
You avoid business development entirely. You tell yourself you’ll “get to it later,” but later never comes.
You build relationships but stay passive. You’re friendly and helpful, but you never move the conversation forward or ask for the work. It’s the professional version of being stuck in the friend zone.
You make a move, but retreat at the first sign of disinterest. Even a lukewarm response feels like a rejection. But often, it’s not a “no”—it’s a “not yet.”
Common Questions I Hear About Selling
These patterns are natural. But they’re also limiting. So, how do you push through them? Here are some common questions I get in my coaching practice, and how I tend to respond.
Q: What if I reach out to someone and they don’t respond
A: That’s not a rejection—it’s reality. People are busy and distracted. Inboxes are cluttered. A lack of response rarely means someone isn’t interested; more often, it just means the timing isn’t right. Gently follow up once or twice. At some point, you have to move on, but you should still try to remain visible because circumstances change. Business development is about persistence, not perfection.
Q: I don’t want to seem pushy or self-promotional. How do I avoid that?
A: Focus on being helpful. Share an article, offer a relevant introduction, or send over a practical tip. Think generosity, not self-promotion. When you lead with relevance and service, you’re seen as a resource, not a nuisance. People want to hear from someone who has something useful to say.
Q: I’m uncomfortable “asking for business.” How do I get over that?
A: Reframe it. You’re not begging for work—you’re offering help. Approach each conversation with curiosity. What’s the problem they’re facing? Can you help solve it? That’s not selling—it’s serving. And when you truly believe you can help someone, “selling” feels less like a pitch and more like an act of service.
Q: I’m overwhelmed by client demands. I don’t think I have time for this.
A: Client work will always fill every available hour. That’s why you need to treat business development time like any other commitment. Feeling overwhelmed? Start by blocking out 30 minutes a week. Put it on your calendar. Protect it. This isn’t extra credit. It’s how you build the future you want, rather than simply responding to the present you have.
Q: I’m doing the work, but not seeing any immediate results. Should I be worried?
A: Not at all. BD is farming, not hunting. You plant seeds—today’s email, next week’s lunch, next month’s webinar—and eventually, you see growth. But it takes time. Think in quarters, not days. Most successful rainmakers didn’t win a key client with one outreach—they earned it by showing up consistently, adding value, and being top of mind when the need arose.
Trust the Process, Stay the Course
Business development isn’t about being fearless. It’s about sticking with it despite the fear. It’s about embracing rejection as part of the process, not a reflection of your worth.
You already have the hard part down. You’re smart. You’re capable. You’re credible. Now, the next step is consistency. Take the next step. Attend the next event. Send the next email. Make the next ask.
Because eventually, one of them will say yes. And then another. And another.
And when they do, you’ll realize the reward wasn’t just the work you won, but the confidence you built along the way that empowers you to keep going.
Jay Harrington is president of our agency, a published author, and nationally-recognized expert in thought-leadership marketing.
From strategic planning to writing, podcasting, video marketing, and design, Jay and his team help lawyers and law firms turn expertise into thought leadership, and thought leadership into new business. Get in touch to learn more about the consulting and coaching services we provide. You can reach Jay at jay@hcommunications.biz.